I don't really mean the things I type here. I have no darkness, no Hyde within me. I am as pure as people believe I am, with no hidden bitterness, rage or despair. And even if I did, it's not like I'd punish myself for it.
I am still capable of love. I have a healthy view of sex and relationships, with no intertwined horror and obsession over the topic.
I am desirable. I am intelligent. I am strong. I am worthy. I am good.
I am not selfish. My world has not shrunk to myself and this room. Other people are not just vague ghosts on the periphery of my perception. I feel profound empathy for them. Truly. I don't suspect myself of sociopathy at all.
I will live a long, succesful life and die peacefully at an advanced age. I will leave behind a loving, stable family. If there is a Heaven, I feel I am destined to go there.
I feel my life has meaning. I feel I deserve to continue existing in this world, which I believe to be a good and just place. Just like humankind is, deep down, a noble and kind species.
So nice to make believe. So nice to pretend.
